It's that time again, sports fans, where we give you the chance for your voice to be heard. Send in your votes right away for this week's most gratuitous, canned or just plain ridiculous sports cliche.
A worthy slate of candidates awaits your dissemination:
1) Indian 1B Travis Hafner (who is a bad, bad man, by the way) on his team’s 8-0 pasting of the White Sox on Wednesday night helped them take 2 of 3 from the Pale Hose and move withing 2 1/2 games in the AL Central:
“We’ve been playing pretty well and hopefully we can continue to win games,” Hafner said. “Hopefully, that series at the end of the year means something, it would be pretty exciting.”
2) Meanwhile, last night White Sox outfielder Jermaine Dye was trying his darndest to spit-shine the turd that is his tcolossalollosal choke job after they dropped an extra-inning tilt to the Twins, allowing the Tribe to move within even closer:
“We’re just missing pitches. We’ve got to continue to battle and not put pressure on ourselves,” Dye said after Thursday night's crushing 4-1 loss to the Minnesota Twins in 11 innings. “We've got to play these games out and see where we're at,” Dye said.
3) Switching over to pigskin, Falcons coach Jim Mora Jr. discusses the possibility of playing this week without star QB Ron Mexico:
“I hope that he's OK. I think that he's OK,” the coach said. “If he's not, then we will go on. We’ll keep playing because there's nothing we can do about it.”
4) Back to baseball: After the YankeesÂ’ 2-1 win, coupled with the Red Sox’ bullpen-induced loss at Tampa Bay Wednesday night, thrusted them into first place of the AL East, Bronx Bomber catcher John Flaherty went all canned-quote on our asses when discussing the outing of Big Unit/Red Ass pitcher Randy Johnson:
“We got to where we want to be, but it doesn't change the focus of this team at all,” Flaherty said. “This is going to be a grind all the way out.”
5) And last, but certainly not least, in the nation's capital on his first road trip of 2005, Barry Bonds questioned why Congress, the media and fans continue to talk about steroids. **(Actually, this isn’t a cliche at all from Barry Bonds. We just highlighted this quote, in which he kindly suggests Congress stop looking into steroid use in baseball and concentrate on more important things, because it shows Bonds is either completely fucking clueless or has balls as big as his elephantine head)**:
“I think we have other issues in this country to worry about that are a lot more serious. I think you guys should direct your efforts into taking care of that,” the San Francisco Giants slugger said Tuesday before facing the Washington Nationals. “Talk about the athletes that are helping Katrina. Ask yourselves how much money y’all personally donated and have helped.”
Simply. Fucking. Stunning.
Vote throught the comments section. The winner will receive nothing but derision and mockery.
Thanks for playing!